


the christmas after

by mmacy



Category: Madam Secretary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:09:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27490996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmacy/pseuds/mmacy
Summary: the stress of visiting family, and it only being one month since the trip to Iran.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	the christmas after

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting all my work from the other site (or at least half of it... the other half is on my high school computer)... but I've officially been lured over. Most of these stories were written when I was in high school. I'm now in college and I would say I've improved greatly... well maybe, so no judgements. Enjoy!

The Christmas After

AN: hey everybody! Okay, this is most likely unedited, and most likely awful…. This was supposed to be up around Christmas (although it really has nothing to do with Christmas) but I thought the story had gotten deleted… turned out it hadn’t. Be warned it’s Iran centered; I’m never gonna get over that storyline. I’m not sure what month the whole Iran situation took place, but I’m pretending her trip was sometime in November. And yes, this story is dramatic… It was fun to write and hopefully you will enjoy reading it even if it is a kinda a whole bunch of ramblings. Please don’t hold this against me. I wanted to write something fun, and like I said this is unedited and lacking detail. I just went with the flow and didn’t really go back and change things. I’m in the middle of writing chapter six of my new story, and I am very excited for you all to read! I’ve been debating writing the whole thing and then posting, but I decided I wanna get it out there once I’ve written about nine or ten chapters. My classes have kept me more than busy so I write when I can (which sadly those rare moments are far and few between) I hope you all are well, and not missing Msec as much as I am :( 

Happy reading :)

~MS~

December 25th 2014

“You okay babe?” He said assertively, yet his words barely came across as a whisper in her head. 

She continued to stare ahead at the black divider that separated them from the two diplomatic security agents who occupied the front seat. 

“Elizabeth?” This time his murmur was accompanied by the soft touch of his hand on her thigh. 

“Yeah.” She answered, head turning towards him

She bit down on the inside of her cheek once seeing his look of concern. His eyes bore into hers.

Calculating. 

Analyzing. 

Working to access what thoughts were running through her ‘damaged’ mind.

The look that he’d been giving her for the past month. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, this time in a softer more calming voice.

She gnawed away at the inside of her cheek again, irked by the amount of times he’d asked her that question. Then she quickly glanced over her left shoulder into the back seat of the car, taking a glimpse at the sleeping faces of her two daughters before turning back around. 

“I wish Jason was with us.” She admitted. 

“He’s right behind us.” He reminded.

Before they’d embarked on the near four-hour car drive, Allison and Jason had nearly busted their parents’ eardrums in the midst of their screaming match over the matter of who had to sit in the dreaded middle seat of the car. Stevie had instantly taken herself out of the draw, claiming that since she was the oldest, she automatically was entitled to one of the outer spots. The younger two had then spent the next five minutes bickering before Jason had, against Elizabeth’s wishes, declared that he was riding in one of the other two SUVs. 

“And I’m sure he’s loving finally having the chance to chat Matt’s ear off.” He added.

She chuckled knowing full well that her son could talk for hours especially about a topic he felt passionately, or rather angrily, about. He actually reminded her a lot of herself when she was his age. She was never one to be afraid to voice her opinion, and she was always willing to push the boundaries, to test the limits. Jason exhibited those same qualities. It was a shame he was so against the idea of ‘teams’ because he’d make an excellent debater. 

“You’re anxious about seeing my dad.” Although a claim, the phrase came out as more of a question. 

“No.” She immediately objected, but she was sure he’d heard the slight raise of her voice. “I’m just a bit tired.” She told him.

“I talked to Maureen earlier. She says she’s excited to see us.” He commented.

Elizabeth scoffed.

“Yeah, ‘us’ as in you and the kids.” 

He sighed. 

“Babe, you know she does like you.” He countered, but even that statement had to sound at least somewhat unbelievable to his own ears. “She’s just difficult and she’s…” He trailed off.

“Maureen?” She finished.

“Yeah.” He replied lowly before flashing her an apologetic smile.

“Now listen if she says anything to you…” 

She held up her hand, quieting him. “Stop. It’s fine.”

“No. It isn’t.” He argued. 

Every time they ventured north it seemed they’d have this exact conversation; always somewhere between Hancock and Somerset, and by the sign they’d passed a few minutes ago, Henry was right on schedule. “She can be rude and I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing for her.” She nearly snapped; she was more than frustrated. Lately her patience had been close to none while her mood swings were on a hair trigger. Dr. Sherman had told her that it was normal, that anxiety often presented itself as anger, but that didn’t help the fact that she’d recently been lashing out at her husband and sometimes even the kids. 

“She’s my sister. I have to.” 

Of course, Maureen’s cold behavior towards her bothered her, often affecting her more than she’d admit to, but she never dwelled on the non-relationship with her sister in law. 

“It’s only a day.” Henry reminded as he held out his hand, obviously wanting her to take it. 

She glanced from his open palm then upwards to his soothing gaze before resting her hand in his. She nearly startled seeing the unexpected flash of fear in his eyes. “God your hands are freezing.” He announced as he then proceeded to rub her palm between the two of his. 

He leaned forward and fiddled with the buttons on the console, probably attempting to turn up the heat. “Do you want a blanket from the back?” He asked. 

She shook her head, turning back towards the window. “I’m fine.” She mumbled as she watched the leafless trees and the grey skies go by. 

~MS~

“How was the drive?” Shane asked him. The pair stood in the far corner of the living room, taking up their own conversation, being as they weren’t a part of the other family member’s discussion concerning football. 

“Roads were a bit busy, but once we got off 270 it calmed down.” Henry explained.

Shane nodded his head before taking a sip from the beer bottle he had gripped in his right hand. “You know I don’t mean to pry…” His brother began, lowering his voice a considerable amount. “But is Elizabeth okay?” 

“What do you mean?” Henry nervously questioned back. His eyes roamed, frantically searching the room for his wife before his gaze landed on her form sitting on the couch. She looked… well she looked fine. Maybe a bit annoyed. Maybe feeling a bit left out. It wouldn’t surprise him if Maureen had made some undeservingly insolent comment.

“She just seems… I don’t know on edge.” Shane replied. 

“She’s tired. The State Department’s been really busy.” He informed, but the response felt as if it’d been prepared like the talking points Russell would give him before a public event. 

“That’s understandable. The news about the coup is still being played on a loop.” 

And with that he glanced back towards her. Maybe Shane was right. Maybe she did look a bit on edge. She’d picked at her dinner, hardly eating more than a few bites, and she remained rather silent, only speaking when directly spoken to and even then, her replies were short and straight to the point. 

Maybe… just maybe. 

Henry was just about to take a step towards the sofa when Erin stepped in front of him. “Would you help me with the dishes?” She asked. 

He looked from his sister to Elizabeth and then back to Erin. “Yeah.” He answered, deciding that he’d talk to her once the quick task was completed.

~MS~

‘In. One. Two. Three. Four. Hold. Out. One. Two. Three. Four.’ She mentally reminded herself. 

Breathe in. Breathe out.

The past three weeks she’d been doing better. She’d been talking with a therapist twice a week. She’d been back at work without any major problems. She’d even been sleeping; having less and less nightmares. And even been meditating in the mornings. It was supposed to go away… she shouldn’t be feeling like this, yet her chest was tight, and she was a bit lightheaded and warm. 

Maybe it was the small space of the house or maybe even the people. Although she’d never admit it, she did in fact get a little nervous when coming here. She was never fully prepared to put up with the ridicule from two of the McCords. And though her line of work called for it, she was never one for traveling. She liked routine, even more so this last month. 

Waking up at the same time. Brushing her teeth. Washing her face. Putting on the outfit she’d laid out the night before. Swiping on a bit of lipstick and then heading out the bedroom door to face the day. She had a specific order and time for everything. It’s ultimately why she wasn’t still constantly horrified to walk outside the house, and not too frightened to allow Jason to go to school without security.

But this trip, it wasn’t a part of her day to day routine and that, that was doing something to her head. Causing the familiar rush of fear to run through her veins. 

She stood; legs too restless to stay seated. 

She quickly rounded the side table and rooted herself in a spot behind the sofa before glancing towards the front door and then the window. 

It was a habit she’d formed in these past few weeks; always knowing where the doors and windows were located. Finding the quickest exit, or the quickest way someone could potentially come inside. 

Her eyes wandered the room, roaming over the members of the McCord family, searching for one particular person. But… but he wasn’t in the room. Her heart immediately sped up. He’d just been here, standing over in the corner. 

Where had Henry gone?

Her fingers dug into the material of the couch, trying oh so hard to remind herself that she was in fact okay. 

She stared ahead, picking a photograph of the young McCord children hanging on the wall as her spotting point, as she breathed in deeply. It was a grounding technique Dr. Sherman had taught her; it helped… sometimes.

In. Out. In… the flash of Jason in the doorway of the den caught her attention. 

Her lips parted as her son came back-peddling into the living room as his cousin threw him a football -something he was forbidden to do in their own home because it was destined to end in disaster- but just as Jason was about to catch the ball he came crashing into Shane. His uncle was nowhere near prepared for the collision and stumbled forwards from the hit to his back. 

She watched as he faltered. Biting her lip as he tripped over the leg of the chair near him. Held her breath as the beer bottle in his hand slipped from the grip of his fingers. 

And just like the glass, she hit the floor.

~MS~

“I’ll wash and you dry.” Erin declared. It had been their unassigned jobs since they were eight, so they never once dared to switch their roles. 

“How’s home?” Erin asked as she squirted a dime-sized amount of soap onto the plate that resided on the top of the stack. 

“Busy, but when isn’t it.” He said as he pulled the dishtowel off the oven handle. 

“Just busy huh?” His sister pushed, for some odd reason skeptical of his response. “Then I guess the real question is how’s the future of the country looking right about now?” 

“Oh, come on. Erin you know you don’t have to be worrying about that. Leave it to Elizabeth.” He replied as he dried the dish that she’d just handed off to him.

“That’s exactly why I’m worried. Elizabeth, she seems jumpy, and over all the years I’ve known her she’s never once been like this.” 

Henry turned, opened a cabinet, set the plate in its rightful spot, and then turned back towards the sink. “She’s readjusting. We all are.”

“From Iran?”

Henry sighed, and nodded

“You said she was fine a few weeks ago, but is she really okay?”

As he opened his mouth to answer, he heard the harsh screech of the bottom of a chair leg against the hard wood floor, immediately followed by the shattering of glass. 

His first instinct was to wonder what happened, but as soon as the thought came and went, realization hit him.

“Elizabeth.” He heard Maureen mutter.

The air was suddenly sucked from his lungs, leaving him unable to breathe.

But he didn’t have time to freeze, he knew that. He leapt into action, shoving the tray he’d been drying along with the towel into Erin’s hands before rushing through the dining room and into the living room. 

And what he saw nearly shattered his heart into a million fragmented pieces. 

His wife… His wife who’d already been through hell and back, lying on the ground, cheek pressed against the carpet. 

“Henry, what’s going on?” Maureen questioned frantically, but he ignored his sister. He ignored the other occupants in the room, even his kids who were probably scared as hell to see their mom like this, all because he knew Elizabeth needed him.

He dropped to his knees, kneeling beside his wife, before leaning his head to the right, connecting their gazes. But although her eyes were wide open, it was no longer Elizabeth staring back at him.

“Baby?” He questioned softly. 

No response. 

“Elizabeth.” He whispered. 

She didn’t even flinch. 

She was visibly shaking. 

Her breaths uneven and shallow.

The fingers of her right hand curled into the carpet, holding on for dear life.

Now over the past month she’d had an occasional moment where she needed to be reassured. There had been times when she needed to take a step back, and have some time alone, but in the past weeks -other than the panic attack that had landed her in the hospital- there had been nothing this extreme. 

But he knew what this was; had witnessed this a handful of times with friends from the marines. And luckily, he knew how to handle a post traumatic stress episode. But the problem was that this wasn’t just his friend lying on the floor… this was the woman he loved. 

He reached out his hand before pulling it right back, unsure if physical contact would help or hurt. He decided not to risk it. 

“Stay down!” She yelled. “Stay down. Stay down.” She mumbled quietly. 

“Elizabeth.” He called again before lying completely flat on his side. Nearly nose to nose with her. “Look at me.” He commanded. 

Nothing. She wasn’t even blinking. He needed to do something and fast.

“Dad.” He said, sitting up and glancing over to his shell-shocked father. “Would you get me a glass of ice water. As cold as possible.” He nearly pleaded. Patrick immediately began walking towards the kitchen.

“Stevie.” He began, looking towards his eldest daughter, choosing to keep his gaze away from the younger two, knowing full well his focus would falter if he saw his daughter’s sure to be tear streaked cheeks or Jason’s scared eyes. “Go get Matt.” He directed.

She did as told, and instantly flung the front door open. 

It was a matter of seconds before the DS agent came barreling through the door. 

“Dr. McCord, what happened?” Matt questioned. “Do you need an ambulance?” He added.

Henry shook his head. “Just her pills.” He muttered.

He watched as Matt patted down his coat, feeling as to where the medicine was, before he reached into the inside pocket of his jacket. His hand emerged holding a small orange bottle. He immediately leaned down and handed it to him.

Henry fiddled with the cap before it finally popped off just before a glass of water was being shoved in his direction. “Thanks.” He mumbled. 

“Elizabeth, can you hear me?” 

Again, there was no response. 

“If this lasts longer than twenty minutes, we need to take her to the hospital sir.” Matt reminded. 

“Noted.” Henry mumbled as he frantically tried to think of how to get her to take this pill and fast. 

He slowly and ever so softly laid his hand on her shoulder. The sudden intake of air from his wife’s lips couldn’t be missed. “Elizabeth I’m gonna sit you up, okay?” He informed her before gently moving her into an upright position.

He picked up the glass of ice-cold water, which now had wet condensation dripping down the sides, off the ground, and turned back to his wife, kneeling in front of her. 

He held the glass in front of her face, still unsure if she actually was aware of what was going on around her, but he wanted to be sure that she saw the object before doing what he was about to do. 

After a few seconds, he slowly moved the glass towards her face, then pressed the side of the cold cup onto her cheek. She flinched away; a good sign. Cold temperatures proved to be a great grounding technique. “You’re gonna be okay.” He reassured while attempting to block out the mumblings from the other occupants in the room.

After continuing to press the glass against her cheeks for a minute, he picked up her hand and wrapped it against the cup. “Can you hold this for me?” He asked slowly. 

She didn’t give a verbal response, but he noticed how her fingers gripped the glass a bit tighter than before. “Good.” He commented.

“Now sweetheart I need you to take this pill.” He told her, holding out his open palm; a small sized green capsule in the middle. 

She slightly shook her head. “No.” She replied hoarsely, but her eyes were still distant. 

“It will help you. Liz, please for me.” He pleaded as he carefully placed the pill in her left hand. 

And maybe it was the use of her nickname -a name he only used when he was discussing something that held huge significance- or maybe it was his tone, but her shaking hands were now bringing the capsule up to her lips. She threw the pill back, and before she could bring the glass of water to her lips, Henry clamped a hand over hers and helped her raise the cup to her mouth. 

He silently sent a quick prayer up to god, thanking him for the small miracle of Elizabeth actually agreeing to take the medicine that she absolutely hated. 

She took a few swallows before Henry took the glass out of her hand and set it on the ground, off to the side. 

Now all they had to do was wait. 

In the next ten minutes or so the Xanax should take effect, fully working its way through each and every one of her veins. 

Henry glanced over his shoulder; he nearly startled, almost forgetting about the others in the room. He nodded at Matt, wordlessly telling him that he could return to his post outside.

“Could everyone please step out.” He muttered, knowing that what was happening with Elizabeth was private. 

He watched as his kids, who were probably still scared out of their minds, left the room first. His siblings followed next. Against his wishes, Maureen and his father remained in the living room; he didn’t have the will to fight them on it.

When he turned his focus back to Elizabeth, he noticed that she was still visibly shaking. It hurt his heart knowing that since he successfully got her to take her pill, he couldn’t do much more to help her, other than just being by her side and sitting here with her. 

Her knees were pressed to her chest, her eyes were still wild, and her breathing was uneven. 

“I’m here.” He told her, gently grabbing her hands. They were still freezing, just as when they were during the car ride here. 

“You’re safe, babe. I know you don’t believe it, but you are.” He told her. “And the kids, they’re in the other room… Jason’s in the other room.” He mentioned their son specifically, knowing that the thought of Jason getting hurt was deeply rooted in her anxiety… or rather Jason was wrapped up with Minister Javani’s son who was in the room when the attack happened. 

With the mention of their son’s name, she froze. Her shoulders stopped shaking. Her eyes stopped roaming the floor.

“Jason?” She questioned. 

“Yes, Jason.” He confirmed. “Jason, he was playing football in the house. I know, something we both have reminded him countless times not to do. He ran into the back of my brother, and Shane accidently dropped a glass. That’s what you heard baby. A cup broke. Not windows. There’s no smoke. There’s no bullets. You’re in my parents’ house. I’m sitting right in front of you.” He explained, purposively squeezing her hands at the end of the last sentence. 

He bit his bottom lip, hoping that his words would finally settle her. He sat patiently and watched as her gaze lifted from the floor, she looked up, and glanced around the room. “Henry?” she mumbled. 

“I’m right here baby.” 

That’s when her eyes met his, and he was forced to watch as her usually bright blue orbs filled up with tears. Her lips began trembling, and her shoulders once again began shaking, but this time not due to panic. 

“You’re here.” She cried.

“I’m here.” He affirmed. 

She choked on the air she was so desperately trying to take in. 

“Breathe.” He remined, softly touched her shoulder. 

Once his hand touched her arm, she instantly leaned forwards, falling into his chest, and began to sob. 

He immediately wrapped his arms around her shaking frame and directed her head into the crook of his neck. “I’m right here.” He hushed her as he rubbed his right hand up and down her back. 

She continued to cry. Cry from the pain. From the past month of relentlessly trying to hold it together. Cry for the loss of a friend. The loss of fellow parent. 

“Is there anything we can do?” Patrick whispered. 

Henry simply shook his head. 

“You’re okay. You’re home sweetheart.” He whispered in her ear. 

Although he hated to see her cry, at the moment he was encouraging it; it was good to let out the pain, the anger, and the sadness from time to time.

“Abdol...” She mumbled into his shoulder.

“Safe at home with his mother. Just like you, safe.” He answered.

Before he could say anymore, she pulled back and gazed up into his eyes. “I wanna go home.” She told him. And honest to god it was one of the saddest things he’s ever witnessed. The strongest woman he knows, tears streaming down her face, hair askew, and whimpering like a child. 

“Let’s step outside for some air, okay?” 

~MS~  
They sat on the top step of the stairs leading out onto the driveway. The moon was shining brightly above their heads while the frisk winter wind swept through the leafless trees causing the thin branches to shake. 

She sniffled loudly, not fully sure if her runny nose was due to the cold or the outburst of crying, she’d succumbed to ten minutes earlier. 

“Here.” Henry said as he wrapped the throw blanket, which was previously covering both of their laps, around her shoulders.

“Thanks.” She mumbled. 

She sucked in a deep breath, letting the nearly freezing air burn through her lungs.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Henry asked softly.

“That’s the thing I already have.” She replied, anger dripping in her tone. “I already have talked about it. To you, to Dr. Sherman, and even to Russell. Therefore, I should be fine.” She added. 

“It’s not that easy, and you, miss 4.2 gpa and Dean’s List honoree, know that.” He responded, hoping to at least make her smile by his teasing remark. 

But to his dismay, her lips remained in a frown. 

“Is it always gonne be like this?” She whispered, as with the pad of her thumb she swiped at the tear forming at the corner of her left eye.

Her voice sounded like she was defeating, throwing in the towel, giving up on moving on from the horrific event.

“No.” He said adamantly. “I promise you if you stay on top of therapy, and when you do feel like this you take your meds, it will get easier. You just have to give yourself some time sweetheart.” 

“Logically, I know that, but emotionally I just want to forget it all.” She admitted.

“And believe me when I tell you that I would do anything for you to have not experienced all that pain and witnessed all that loss that day.” He began. “But you did, and now it’s about recovering, and trying your best to turn that awful act of hate and suffering into your reason for fighting harder to make the world a safer place.” 

She basked in the silence, letting his words sink in and feeling the surprisingly refreshing cold air nip at the bare skin of the gap between the bottom of her jeans and her shoes. 

“You always know just what to say don’t you?” She teased.

He chuckled. “Either that or I give you a bowl of ice cream.”

With this remark, she joined him in his laughter. 

After a minute her smiling lips were replaced with a serious grimace. She turned to the left and gazed into her husband’s loving eyes. “I love you, Henry McCord.” 

He smiled at her, amazed that after all these years his love for this woman only seemed to grow and grow each day. He leaned in closer to Elizabeth, squeezing her side, and placing a kiss onto her temple. “And I love you, Elizabeth Adams McCord, to the moon.”

“Thank you for taking care of me.” 

“Always.” He murmured. “But babe, I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner tonight. I had no idea. The signs were all there I just didn’t…” She cut him with a kiss to his lips. 

“It’s not your fault.” She told him after pulling away. “I’d been feeling panicky all day, and I should have told you, and I should’ve taken my pill earlier.” She confessed.

She leaned to the right, peacefully resting her head against Henry’s shoulder. “Oh god were the kids scared to death?” She worried.

“If I’m being honest, I wasn’t too focused on them, but I can assume you’re probably gonna need to talk to them later.” 

She sighed.

“Hey I said later. And later means that we can definitely continue sitting out here for a while.” 

“God bless you.” She said.

“Oh, don’t bless me yet.” He quipped, as he stood from his spot on the staircase. 

“You’re leaving me?” She asked teasingly, but the tell-tale anxiety could be heard in her tone.

“Yes, but only to grab us a bowl of ice cream.” He said lightheartedly. 

She nodded. 

“Is that okay?” He asked seriously. “I’ll only be gone for like five minutes, seven tops.” He added. 

“What am I gonna do without you?” She teased. 

He leaned down and kissed the top of her head before disappearing inside. 

Elizabeth gazed upwards taking in the nearly breathtaking sight of the gleaming moon and the few flagrant stars. 

“That was fast.” She commented, hearing the screen door open and then close. 

“Hi.” She nearly jumped, not expecting to hear a woman’s voice. She immediately glanced over her shoulder, needing to know who now stood behind her. Her stomach sank seeing Maureen; she was too drained to put up with her immature and brutal behavior. 

“You think I’m crazy right?” Elizabeth pointed out, as her husband’s sister sat down on the next step down from her. “Have you and your dad tried to convince Henry to divorce me yet?” She asked, mostly joking.

“Please I’m not here to argue, and I don’t want to upset you, so if you want me to leave just say the word.” Maureen told her. 

Elizabeth bit her lip, deciding to man up or rather be the bigger person, and accept that Maureen very well may be finally waving the white flag. 

“We didn’t know.” The woman muttered, but the phrase could be applied to a handful of things at the moment. “We saw everything on the news, but Henry never told us that…” She trailed off.

“That I’m not coping.” Elizabeth finished.

“I’m sorry that you were in the middle of a…” She once again lost her words.

“Gunfight. Assassination attempt. Coup. War. Any will fit the bill.” 

“You’re not this perfect being that I imagined you to be… Seeing you like that in the living room, it reminded me that you’re a person, and I wanted to apologize for not treating you like one.” 

Elizabeth looked down; eyes connected with her sister in law’s. She’d always been good at reading people, and in that moment, she knew that Maureen’s apology was genuine. “Thank you.” She replied.

Elizabeth swallowed hard, wondering what else to say to the woman who had made her feel inferior for the past two decades, but Maureen spoke first.

“A few years before we met, my freshman year of high school, my friends and I went to the store for some hot chocolate on Christmas. It was dark, and we were on the back roads near my friend’s boyfriends house. He was driving, I was in the back, and my best friend Lauren was in the passenger seat. We weren’t going fast. We weren’t playing the music too loud that it would distract Jimmy from driving. Everything was fine. And then Jimmy hit a patch of black ice, causing the car to go off the road, and hit a tree. I wasn’t hurt. Jimmy had some burns from the airbag. But Lauren… she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. She went through the windshield and died on impact.” Maureen told her.

“I’m so sorry.” Elizabeth apologized.

The woman nodded. “Anyways, I struggled for the next year. Depression. A few nightmares. A touch of anxiety. But it wasn’t until the next Christmas when it all hit me. I dubbed it ‘The Christmas after.’ Lauren being gone for a year… I don’t know I guess reality hit me. But um, Henry and the others don’t know this, but I hid away almost all day in my room because I was having panic attacks. My mom sat with me, consoled me. It was nothing like a PTSD episode, but it left me drained, and scared, and feeling less in control then I ever have. So, I just want to say that although I don’t understand, I understand…. And I know I’m not your favorite person, but I am always here if you need anything.” 

Tears welled up in her eyes, and Elizabeth flashed her a watery smile, telling her without telling her that her words meant a considerable amount to her right now.

“Maureen?” Henry questioned skeptically after he stepped outside. 

His sister held up her hands in defense, and said, “I’m being civil.” She told him. “And I’m just leaving.” She added as she took a climbed the stairs. 

“Maureen.” Elizabeth muttered as she stood, letting the thin blanket fall to the ground. When Henry’s sister turned to face her, she enveloped her into a hug. “Thank you.” She muttered before pulling away.

“What was that about?” Henry asked, handing Elizabeth her bowl of ice cream, after his sister had gone inside. 

“Nothing really. Just waving the white flag… at least for the moment.” She replied.

“She didn’t say anything to you, did she?” He questioned as he sat down, not fully believing that his sister, the biggest hater of Elizabeth Adams, kept her mouth shut.

“Nothing that you need to know about.”

He must have accepted her answer or that fact that she wasn’t giving him details because he didn’t question her further. 

“Do you still want to drive home tonight because we certainly will if you want to?” He offered.

She shook her head against his shoulder. “No. We’ll go home tomorrow. The kids deserve to stay and have their Christmas that isn’t my ‘Christmas after’.” She said, putting finger quotes around the two words.

“What do you mean?” He asked.

“It doesn’t matter… or hopefully it won’t soon enough.”

~MS~

AN: again, this is unedited… I didn’t even read it all the way through. So, don’t trash it, or trash it if you want. I know it’s dramatic, and not developed very well, but between writing lab reports and scientific grant proposals my brain is practically burnt out! Leave a review if you’re kind! Hope you didn’t hate it!


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